We made it through the holidays...always an interesting time of year. And, the holiday lighting company FINALLY took down our outdoor decorations yesterday...January 20th. Almost one month after Christmas. Good Lord, people.
All is quiet in Landlord land....all three tenants are behaving nicely and only causing minimal disruption. For this, I am thankful...perhaps they intuitively knew that, after the last set of crazies, we needed some peace and quiet...Could be intuition or the "look, mother fuckers, don't fuck up my houses or you'll pay dearly" speech I gave them.
Mr. Landlord's mother and sister came for a visit last weekend. I have since closed the door to Hotel Landlord and sent an email to all of those interested parties looking for a place to crash that we no longer had any vacancies...and would not for a very long time. This was met with significant disbelief and hurt, but who the fuck cares. Why the strong reaction? Here it goes...
Mr. Landlord and I love coffee. We have owned this at $1900+ after taxes, the F7 at $1600+ after taxes, and currently own this at $1600+ after taxes. The DeLonghi is by far the best automatic coffee maker we have ever had. (For those who are interested, the Juras fall apart after 6 months of use...so much so Williams Sonoma will no longer take them back for a full refund after 6 months.) We LOVE this machine. Man, do we love it...
On Friday, Mr. Landlord and I had to be away for a few hours in the morning and left the household to my inlaws, who were also graciously caring for itty bitty landlord. My 82-year-old mother in law also likes her coffee, especially because she freezes her ass off in our house - despite the fact that fireplace is going full tilt and the heater is set at 74 - well above our 67. Neither of my inlaws have EVER seen an automatic coffee maker such as ours, but somehow figured they could "just figure it out." Fuck me running, people...did you click on the link above?....did you see all the buttons and shit that are on this machine?....Seriously....it took me about an hour to get the basics down. This is NOT your Mr. Coffee.
So, once we return to our beloved home, my mother in law casually says "I think Anne may have ruined your coffee maker. She put water in the coffee compartment. She couldn't get it to work after that." My response? A very cool, Oh SHIT. So, I get on the horn to Delonghi, who inform me that I need to turn the machine upside down and let it sit that way for two days to dry out. As I am on the phone with Delonghi, my sister in law is attempting to make a grilled cheese sandwich for my mother in law in my new $200 Viking nonstick saute pan. As I'm standing in the kitchen listening to the phone and watching her, she is spraying nonstick spray in my nonstick pan...FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK! So, I scream at her to put the pan down and she looks at me as if I've lost my mind...which, by this time, I pretty much have. My mother in law explains to her that you can't spray nonstick spray in a nonstick pan....Does this really need to be explained to anyone? Really?
It is Monday and I have since called Delonghi again as the coffee maker still doesn't work, which means I am shipping it off to California to one of the three designated Delonghi repair centers. Delonghi has also informed me that, due to user error, the three month old machine is no longer under warranty. No shit, sherlock...tell my fucking sister in law that, who by the way, can't afford to reimburse us for the coffee maker.
So, no more visitors. EVER. I don't have time to dick around with shipping my $1600 coffee maker to California, clean up after everyone, and keep my sanity. I also don't have another $1600 to spend on another coffee maker.
Let this be a lesson to you all: If you don't know how to use it, and it's not yours, don't fuck with it unless you can afford to pay for it.
Showing posts with label inlaws. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inlaws. Show all posts
Monday, January 21, 2008
Monday, September 24, 2007
Back to the in-laws
My brother-in-law, his wife, his 7-year-old daughter, his 11-year-old son, and their 14-year-old niece on his wife's side were here this past weekend for a football game. I had 8 people in my house. I spent 6 hours making lasagna Saturday morning (Mr. Landlord's request...and since he is special he got the lasagna) and made a cake the night before. So, yes, I was Susie Homemaker.
I typically make it a point to know what folks like to eat before they come...I think it makes the visit more comfortable for them. My niece and nephew are very picky eaters, and their mother - an OB/GYN - has a history of being obsessed with what they eat. READ: no junk food and their snacks are Power Bars and milk. No fruit juice is allowed. And my niece has told me that McDonald's fries are the equivalent of the anti-christ. Once when they were here, I made a batch of cinnamon rolls, and their mother quickly came into my kitchen and unveiled a package of bran muffin mix which they brought from home that she was going to make for them - which I gladly turned over my kitchen for her to proceed. (These children are doomed to develop eating disorders from their mother's fear that they will turn into hefty Italians like their dad and his family.) So I felt compelled to make double sure I knew what they liked to eat. I was informed that my niece only likes elbow noodles with butter and parmesan for dinner...AND the butter had to be the I Can't Believe Its Not Butter Light spray. Sounds easy enough. Off to the store I go.
I'm standing in front of the butter case looking for this special spray and feel this sense of sadness and great irritation come over me. Then I realize...what the hell am I doing? I'm willingly buying this child, who could use a few pounds on her, LIGHT BUTTER SPRAY to put on her noodles. I'm contributing to a future of eating disorder hell for this child. And in the greater picture, I'm going overboard in making sure people are comfortable in my home in an effort to ease MY OWN ANXIETY for having people in my house. THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!!! I should not have to worry about my three dogs getting their hair on the floor so my niece and nephew won't be able to sit on the floor and play with my son. I should not have to worry that my sister-in-law is afraid of big dogs. I should not have to wash, dry, and fold FOUR sets of sheets by the time everyone is gone, much less clean the fucking kitchen....AGAIN! AND, I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PUT ASIDE TIME FOR MY SON TO MAKE SURE THESE PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY HOME! By the time they left, I had barely seen my baby boy all weekend. How suck ass is that????
Sue Doe left a comment on one of my previous posts about inlaws saying I had no boundaries. Thank you, Sue Doe, for the little dose of reality. It was a Godsend. That comment ran through my mind while standing in front of the butter, and has not since left my mind. Sometimes we psychologists need reality to slap us in the face....
I typically make it a point to know what folks like to eat before they come...I think it makes the visit more comfortable for them. My niece and nephew are very picky eaters, and their mother - an OB/GYN - has a history of being obsessed with what they eat. READ: no junk food and their snacks are Power Bars and milk. No fruit juice is allowed. And my niece has told me that McDonald's fries are the equivalent of the anti-christ. Once when they were here, I made a batch of cinnamon rolls, and their mother quickly came into my kitchen and unveiled a package of bran muffin mix which they brought from home that she was going to make for them - which I gladly turned over my kitchen for her to proceed. (These children are doomed to develop eating disorders from their mother's fear that they will turn into hefty Italians like their dad and his family.) So I felt compelled to make double sure I knew what they liked to eat. I was informed that my niece only likes elbow noodles with butter and parmesan for dinner...AND the butter had to be the I Can't Believe Its Not Butter Light spray. Sounds easy enough. Off to the store I go.
I'm standing in front of the butter case looking for this special spray and feel this sense of sadness and great irritation come over me. Then I realize...what the hell am I doing? I'm willingly buying this child, who could use a few pounds on her, LIGHT BUTTER SPRAY to put on her noodles. I'm contributing to a future of eating disorder hell for this child. And in the greater picture, I'm going overboard in making sure people are comfortable in my home in an effort to ease MY OWN ANXIETY for having people in my house. THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!!! I should not have to worry about my three dogs getting their hair on the floor so my niece and nephew won't be able to sit on the floor and play with my son. I should not have to worry that my sister-in-law is afraid of big dogs. I should not have to wash, dry, and fold FOUR sets of sheets by the time everyone is gone, much less clean the fucking kitchen....AGAIN! AND, I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PUT ASIDE TIME FOR MY SON TO MAKE SURE THESE PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY HOME! By the time they left, I had barely seen my baby boy all weekend. How suck ass is that????
Sue Doe left a comment on one of my previous posts about inlaws saying I had no boundaries. Thank you, Sue Doe, for the little dose of reality. It was a Godsend. That comment ran through my mind while standing in front of the butter, and has not since left my mind. Sometimes we psychologists need reality to slap us in the face....
Friday, August 31, 2007
All is quiet...until football season
All is quiet in tenant land...so far. I'm sure that will change next week when I make a surprise visit to house #3 to see the yard demolished from lack of water.
We experience a high number of family visitors this time of year as it is football season. Mr. Landlord purchases season tickets to the university games every year, and football is a HUGE thing of importance in his family.
I am NOT a football fan. Could care less about the game. I'm pretty sure it contributed to the demise of more than one of my previous relationships, and I swore I would NEVER marry someone who enjoyed it. Alas, I caved to the charms, good looks, sweetness, kindness, and smartness of Mr. Landlord despite his love of this seemingly nonsensical game.
So now, every year, we have members of the big clan vying for weekend visits to get a free ticket and a place to stay. It seems that everyone enjoys coming for visits as they feel at home and get a good, homecooked meal. I hear from more than a few of the fam that they even sleep better in my house. I think this has to do with the fact that we turn the thermostat down to 66 every night...funny how that helps people burrow down into the covers and take a nice, long, deep sleep.
I am fine with folks coming, and even enjoy doting on fam members a bit, making sure they are comfortable and meeting most of their basic needs. However...it is work...a lot of work. You gotta clean before they come, and clean after they leave. As I said in an earlier post, I have begun to refuse to cook for everyone as most of them have horrible eating habits and don't like the healthy stuff I cook. It's also a lot of work to cook for a lot of people, especially when you have a 2yearold. After everyone is gone, I typically have to go through all the bathrooms and bedrooms, straighten everything, strip the beds, wash the sheets and towels, clean up the piles of papers and magazines in the living room, fold the blankets and return them to the back of the couches, take out the trash, clean the dishes, and replenish the pantry. This takes an entire day. And yes, I have a cleaning service...but feel guilty asking them to clean after extra people, and can't wait for them to come and clean up the mess.
So, as we approach the Labor Day weekend with the opening of football season, I will welcome those who come to visit, and pray that some will pick up after themselves.
We experience a high number of family visitors this time of year as it is football season. Mr. Landlord purchases season tickets to the university games every year, and football is a HUGE thing of importance in his family.
I am NOT a football fan. Could care less about the game. I'm pretty sure it contributed to the demise of more than one of my previous relationships, and I swore I would NEVER marry someone who enjoyed it. Alas, I caved to the charms, good looks, sweetness, kindness, and smartness of Mr. Landlord despite his love of this seemingly nonsensical game.
So now, every year, we have members of the big clan vying for weekend visits to get a free ticket and a place to stay. It seems that everyone enjoys coming for visits as they feel at home and get a good, homecooked meal. I hear from more than a few of the fam that they even sleep better in my house. I think this has to do with the fact that we turn the thermostat down to 66 every night...funny how that helps people burrow down into the covers and take a nice, long, deep sleep.
I am fine with folks coming, and even enjoy doting on fam members a bit, making sure they are comfortable and meeting most of their basic needs. However...it is work...a lot of work. You gotta clean before they come, and clean after they leave. As I said in an earlier post, I have begun to refuse to cook for everyone as most of them have horrible eating habits and don't like the healthy stuff I cook. It's also a lot of work to cook for a lot of people, especially when you have a 2yearold. After everyone is gone, I typically have to go through all the bathrooms and bedrooms, straighten everything, strip the beds, wash the sheets and towels, clean up the piles of papers and magazines in the living room, fold the blankets and return them to the back of the couches, take out the trash, clean the dishes, and replenish the pantry. This takes an entire day. And yes, I have a cleaning service...but feel guilty asking them to clean after extra people, and can't wait for them to come and clean up the mess.
So, as we approach the Labor Day weekend with the opening of football season, I will welcome those who come to visit, and pray that some will pick up after themselves.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Life in general...and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks
The tenants in house #3 are PISSED OFF at Mr. Landlord and I for the grief we have caused them. So...now I'm feeling a little guilty. It's like weighing the good and the bad...they lied to us about several things and didn't follow the lease contract, yet they probably truely cannot afford to live where they are living. AND...they have a 6-year-old son. Mr. Attorney says if you follow the lease to the "T", you will always come out ahead and never be questioned in court. I believe this wholeheartedly. I feel bad for them, but at the end of the day it is OUR investment and I can't be responsible for their misfortunes.
On a brighter note, my favorite sister-in-law came to visit this past weekend. We had a great time. She is hilarious and a true pleasure for a houseguest. I always dread having houseguests because after they leave, my home looks like a tornado came through. Truely...people seem to forget how to pick up after themselves when they visit. I have magazines and newspapers everywhere, and I can't tell you how many times I will have cleaned the kitchen. I used to cook every meal when folks were visiting, but I quickly found out that my inlaws are VERY PICKY EATERS. I am a good cook...just plain and simple...a good cook. Really...but damn they are FREAKS when it comes to eating. So, I decided to forgo cooking and let everyone forage for themselves. Saves me time and money in wasted groceries. One time, two of my sisters-in-law were visiting and I cooked grilled chicken breast topped with spinach and pinenut pesto. One of them insisted that the pesto looked like ground up frog in a blender and refused to eat it. She's 48 years old...Another time I fixed sauteed salmon with a creamy dill and cucumber topping. The other sister-in-law ate one bite of the salmon and then turned it over, scraped all the grey part off the bottom, turned it over, took another bite, and then said she was full. Holy fuck...it's $45 salmon people!!!!!!! It's the best you can get here...it's dark and rich and flavorful. What the hell is wrong with you?????
However, my sister-in-law that just visited is game for anything...she even tried Thai food for the first time while she was here. What a trooper. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but believe, to my inlaw clan it is freakin' amazing. Then we spent about an hour and a half after the little dude went to bed laughing at Chuck Norris jokes. Pretty damn funny...here's the link...enjoy.
http://www.duckshit.com/chuck-norris-jokes/
On a brighter note, my favorite sister-in-law came to visit this past weekend. We had a great time. She is hilarious and a true pleasure for a houseguest. I always dread having houseguests because after they leave, my home looks like a tornado came through. Truely...people seem to forget how to pick up after themselves when they visit. I have magazines and newspapers everywhere, and I can't tell you how many times I will have cleaned the kitchen. I used to cook every meal when folks were visiting, but I quickly found out that my inlaws are VERY PICKY EATERS. I am a good cook...just plain and simple...a good cook. Really...but damn they are FREAKS when it comes to eating. So, I decided to forgo cooking and let everyone forage for themselves. Saves me time and money in wasted groceries. One time, two of my sisters-in-law were visiting and I cooked grilled chicken breast topped with spinach and pinenut pesto. One of them insisted that the pesto looked like ground up frog in a blender and refused to eat it. She's 48 years old...Another time I fixed sauteed salmon with a creamy dill and cucumber topping. The other sister-in-law ate one bite of the salmon and then turned it over, scraped all the grey part off the bottom, turned it over, took another bite, and then said she was full. Holy fuck...it's $45 salmon people!!!!!!! It's the best you can get here...it's dark and rich and flavorful. What the hell is wrong with you?????
However, my sister-in-law that just visited is game for anything...she even tried Thai food for the first time while she was here. What a trooper. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but believe, to my inlaw clan it is freakin' amazing. Then we spent about an hour and a half after the little dude went to bed laughing at Chuck Norris jokes. Pretty damn funny...here's the link...enjoy.
http://www.duckshit.com/chuck-norris-jokes/
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