My brother-in-law, his wife, his 7-year-old daughter, his 11-year-old son, and their 14-year-old niece on his wife's side were here this past weekend for a football game. I had 8 people in my house. I spent 6 hours making lasagna Saturday morning (Mr. Landlord's request...and since he is special he got the lasagna) and made a cake the night before. So, yes, I was Susie Homemaker.
I typically make it a point to know what folks like to eat before they come...I think it makes the visit more comfortable for them. My niece and nephew are very picky eaters, and their mother - an OB/GYN - has a history of being obsessed with what they eat. READ: no junk food and their snacks are Power Bars and milk. No fruit juice is allowed. And my niece has told me that McDonald's fries are the equivalent of the anti-christ. Once when they were here, I made a batch of cinnamon rolls, and their mother quickly came into my kitchen and unveiled a package of bran muffin mix which they brought from home that she was going to make for them - which I gladly turned over my kitchen for her to proceed. (These children are doomed to develop eating disorders from their mother's fear that they will turn into hefty Italians like their dad and his family.) So I felt compelled to make double sure I knew what they liked to eat. I was informed that my niece only likes elbow noodles with butter and parmesan for dinner...AND the butter had to be the I Can't Believe Its Not Butter Light spray. Sounds easy enough. Off to the store I go.
I'm standing in front of the butter case looking for this special spray and feel this sense of sadness and great irritation come over me. Then I realize...what the hell am I doing? I'm willingly buying this child, who could use a few pounds on her, LIGHT BUTTER SPRAY to put on her noodles. I'm contributing to a future of eating disorder hell for this child. And in the greater picture, I'm going overboard in making sure people are comfortable in my home in an effort to ease MY OWN ANXIETY for having people in my house. THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!!! I should not have to worry about my three dogs getting their hair on the floor so my niece and nephew won't be able to sit on the floor and play with my son. I should not have to worry that my sister-in-law is afraid of big dogs. I should not have to wash, dry, and fold FOUR sets of sheets by the time everyone is gone, much less clean the fucking kitchen....AGAIN! AND, I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PUT ASIDE TIME FOR MY SON TO MAKE SURE THESE PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY HOME! By the time they left, I had barely seen my baby boy all weekend. How suck ass is that????
Sue Doe left a comment on one of my previous posts about inlaws saying I had no boundaries. Thank you, Sue Doe, for the little dose of reality. It was a Godsend. That comment ran through my mind while standing in front of the butter, and has not since left my mind. Sometimes we psychologists need reality to slap us in the face....
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2 comments:
I can't believe it's butter light spray??? What an abomination!
I really, really hate it when parents of thin girls obsess over those girls' eating. It's so awkward for me.
I try to give my girls good food (plenty of fruits and vegetables, homemade food), but I allow them to have junk food (in moderation, but my idea of moderation is probably not strict enough). We don't eat fast food, but we do call for pizzas and pick up veggie burritos. But beyond that, I try not to obsess over their food. I don't make them clean their plates.
p.s. Thank you for having me in your favorites!
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