Assholes in the school system

Well, the good news is the coffee maker is repaired and on its way back home. The folks at Appliance Repair Express in San Jose, California informed me that the water caused the grinding mechanism to rust...No kidding. So, $225 later we have our coffee maker back. Now lets get to the assholes....

Itty bitty landlord is in preschool. He was LOVING it until about two weeks ago...apparently his teacher neglected to tell me that he was pushing and shoving his peers and that this was causing some problems in the classroom. In fact, I think...no, I know....she used the word "aggressive." Hmmmm....let's think about this....he's 6 weeks away from turning 3. The pushing and shoving comes and goes until they finally figure out the world isn't all about them....Apparently, his teacher called in her director to conduct some observations of him, and to come to some conclusion about his behavior, and draw up some recommendations. Hmmm...in my professional life people hire me to do this sort of thing for lots of money...Its called a behavioral assessment and you have to be very trained to conduct one. YOU ALSO HAVE TO HAVE THE PARENTS CONSENT AND THE CHILD'S ASSENT. They had neither of these...we didn't even know the observations were being conducted. We also didn't even know there were issues and a parent complaint...which I'll get to in a minute. Their licensing authority told me yesterday that what they did was not kosher...no kidding....and that I should probably hire a lawyer. We probably will after today.

Lets get to the parent complaint...the parent complaint originated from someone who 1) used to be a good friend of mine until she ditched me for a woman who drives a Lexus and wears Prada sunglasses and 2) has a boy the same age who happens to be really good buddies with itty bitty landlord. These two boys are in the same class. I still do not know the nature of the complaint, and the school has yet to give me more information about this. What I do know is that the other boy is a biter....has been for the last two years. So, he bites and my kid pushes and shoves. Typical developmentally appropriate behavior. What Mr. Landlord and I are guessing is that the other kid goes home and says my kid pushed him, and this pisses the parents off. Believe, my kid comes home and reports that this kid bit him...we think its just the way they are right now and that they are being appropriately corrected in school. At least we thought this until now....I got a call last Wednesday from the director of the program telling me to pick my kid up because apparently he bit his little buddy on the cheek so bad that it caused bruising and teeth marks. My first question was what in the hell was going on that my kid would bite back so severely? And where was the teacher and teaching assistant? Seriously, if my kid had enough time to sink his teeth into the other kid...what the hell was going on? My kid NEVER bites....he's a pusher and a shover. After the intial anger wore off, I am finally able to say "Yay, itty bitty!!! You finally gave him a piece of his own medicine! He'll never bite you again!!!"

However, my kid is still processing all of this...apparently his teacher told him that the other kid's parents were going to be very upset about the bite. He's now had so much negative attention focused on him by staff that he doesn't want to go to school....and believe me, I've raised enough hell and made his teacher's life so miserable the other teachers are looking at me with fright in their eyes....especially the ones that could be his teachers next year.

You see....here's the thing...had his teacher not been intimidated by the fact that both Mr. Landlord and I are psychologists, she could have communicated with me much earlier than she did about what she was seeing in the classroom. We could have worked together to address a lot of this...and I could have encouraged her to have patience....he will grow out of it. How do I know she's intimidated? Because she makes a point each morning at drop off of telling me how well she parents her own daughters, what classes she has taken at the local community college that have educated her in early childhood education, and how she plans on finishing her associates degree at the end of the year. Hmmmm....associates degree in early childhood education at the local community college vs. doctorate in child psychology...Ya.

So, what has this gotten the teacher? My peering through the window for hours at a time watching how my son is doing, how the other kids are doing, and how the teachers are interacting with them and correcting my son and others. It has also gotten her the added responsibility of keeping a daily journal of how my son did...something - after two days of implementation - she is unable to keep up with. And, it has forced her to talk to me face to face each day when I pick him up about how his day went, what problems were encountered, and how she handled them.

The kicker? I'm rocking him before bed last night - which has become a time when he slows down and processes everything - and I'm telling him how special he is and how much mommy and daddy love him. He responds "I'm not special...I told Ms. Pammie no today." Those sorry mother fuckers...

Yes, he's now on a waiting list to get into a private preschool. I'm seeing private school in his near and distant future. I think I've finally convinced Mr. Landlord of the same.

Welcome back...

We made it through the holidays...always an interesting time of year. And, the holiday lighting company FINALLY took down our outdoor decorations yesterday...January 20th. Almost one month after Christmas. Good Lord, people.

All is quiet in Landlord land....all three tenants are behaving nicely and only causing minimal disruption. For this, I am thankful...perhaps they intuitively knew that, after the last set of crazies, we needed some peace and quiet...Could be intuition or the "look, mother fuckers, don't fuck up my houses or you'll pay dearly" speech I gave them.

Mr. Landlord's mother and sister came for a visit last weekend. I have since closed the door to Hotel Landlord and sent an email to all of those interested parties looking for a place to crash that we no longer had any vacancies...and would not for a very long time. This was met with significant disbelief and hurt, but who the fuck cares. Why the strong reaction? Here it goes...

Mr. Landlord and I love coffee. We have owned this at $1900+ after taxes, the F7 at $1600+ after taxes, and currently own this at $1600+ after taxes. The DeLonghi is by far the best automatic coffee maker we have ever had. (For those who are interested, the Juras fall apart after 6 months of use...so much so Williams Sonoma will no longer take them back for a full refund after 6 months.) We LOVE this machine. Man, do we love it...

On Friday, Mr. Landlord and I had to be away for a few hours in the morning and left the household to my inlaws, who were also graciously caring for itty bitty landlord. My 82-year-old mother in law also likes her coffee, especially because she freezes her ass off in our house - despite the fact that fireplace is going full tilt and the heater is set at 74 - well above our 67. Neither of my inlaws have EVER seen an automatic coffee maker such as ours, but somehow figured they could "just figure it out." Fuck me running, people...did you click on the link above?....did you see all the buttons and shit that are on this machine?....Seriously....it took me about an hour to get the basics down. This is NOT your Mr. Coffee.

So, once we return to our beloved home, my mother in law casually says "I think Anne may have ruined your coffee maker. She put water in the coffee compartment. She couldn't get it to work after that." My response? A very cool, Oh SHIT. So, I get on the horn to Delonghi, who inform me that I need to turn the machine upside down and let it sit that way for two days to dry out. As I am on the phone with Delonghi, my sister in law is attempting to make a grilled cheese sandwich for my mother in law in my new $200 Viking nonstick saute pan. As I'm standing in the kitchen listening to the phone and watching her, she is spraying nonstick spray in my nonstick pan...FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK! So, I scream at her to put the pan down and she looks at me as if I've lost my mind...which, by this time, I pretty much have. My mother in law explains to her that you can't spray nonstick spray in a nonstick pan....Does this really need to be explained to anyone? Really?

It is Monday and I have since called Delonghi again as the coffee maker still doesn't work, which means I am shipping it off to California to one of the three designated Delonghi repair centers. Delonghi has also informed me that, due to user error, the three month old machine is no longer under warranty. No shit, sherlock...tell my fucking sister in law that, who by the way, can't afford to reimburse us for the coffee maker.

So, no more visitors. EVER. I don't have time to dick around with shipping my $1600 coffee maker to California, clean up after everyone, and keep my sanity. I also don't have another $1600 to spend on another coffee maker.

Let this be a lesson to you all: If you don't know how to use it, and it's not yours, don't fuck with it unless you can afford to pay for it.

Michael Vick

The news just announced that Michael Vick got 23 months for dog fighting...he got off easy.

In the holiday spirit...

A woman from my neighborhood just called. She wanted to borrow 40 wine glasses from me for a party that she is giving for the holidays. We are not invited to this party. She knows I have these "fun and fabulous" (her words) wine glasses as I coordinate the neighborhood wine tasting each year and use these wine glasses for the tasting. I see this woman once a year at the neighborhood wine tasting. We have the typical "hello, how are things going?" exchange that never lasts more than 5 minutes. So essentially I talk with her for 5 minutes per year.

I let her borrow my "fun and fabulous" wine glasses. I'm a nice person...with no boundaries...Geeeezzzz.

Ummm...

To the man standing next to me in the airport security check line:

No, you really don't have to tell me that you're taking your belt off now. It's not necessary.

Photography

I'd like to share a link to my friend's husband's blog. He is a professional photographer and does really great work. Enjoy!

www.doggettstudios.com

Itty-bitty landlord

Itty-bitty landlord: Momma, I have two feet!

Ms. Landlord: Yes, you do!

Itty-bitty landlord: Isn't that lovely?!!

How great is that!