Adventures in landlording and other life endeavors

Assholes in the school system

2008-01-29T04:32:00.000-08:00

Well, the good news is the coffee maker is repaired and on its way back home. The folks at Appliance Repair Express in San Jose, California informed me that the water caused the grinding mechanism to rust...No kidding. So, $225 later we have our coffee maker back. Now lets get to the assholes....

Itty bitty landlord is in preschool. He was LOVING it until about two weeks ago...apparently his teacher neglected to tell me that he was pushing and shoving his peers and that this was causing some problems in the classroom. In fact, I think...no, I know....she used the word "aggressive." Hmmmm....let's think about this....he's 6 weeks away from turning 3. The pushing and shoving comes and goes until they finally figure out the world isn't all about them....Apparently, his teacher called in her director to conduct some observations of him, and to come to some conclusion about his behavior, and draw up some recommendations. Hmmm...in my professional life people hire me to do this sort of thing for lots of money...Its called a behavioral assessment and you have to be very trained to conduct one. YOU ALSO HAVE TO HAVE THE PARENTS CONSENT AND THE CHILD'S ASSENT. They had neither of these...we didn't even know the observations were being conducted. We also didn't even know there were issues and a parent complaint...which I'll get to in a minute. Their licensing authority told me yesterday that what they did was not kosher...no kidding....and that I should probably hire a lawyer. We probably will after today.

Lets get to the parent complaint...the parent complaint originated from someone who 1) used to be a good friend of mine until she ditched me for a woman who drives a Lexus and wears Prada sunglasses and 2) has a boy the same age who happens to be really good buddies with itty bitty landlord. These two boys are in the same class. I still do not know the nature of the complaint, and the school has yet to give me more information about this. What I do know is that the other boy is a biter....has been for the last two years. So, he bites and my kid pushes and shoves. Typical developmentally appropriate behavior. What Mr. Landlord and I are guessing is that the other kid goes home and says my kid pushed him, and this pisses the parents off. Believe, my kid comes home and reports that this kid bit him...we think its just the way they are right now and that they are being appropriately corrected in school. At least we thought this until now....I got a call last Wednesday from the director of the program telling me to pick my kid up because apparently he bit his little buddy on the cheek so bad that it caused bruising and teeth marks. My first question was what in the hell was going on that my kid would bite back so severely? And where was the teacher and teaching assistant? Seriously, if my kid had enough time to sink his teeth into the other kid...what the hell was going on? My kid NEVER bites....he's a pusher and a shover. After the intial anger wore off, I am finally able to say "Yay, itty bitty!!! You finally gave him a piece of his own medicine! He'll never bite you again!!!"

However, my kid is still processing all of this...apparently his teacher told him that the other kid's parents were going to be very upset about the bite. He's now had so much negative attention focused on him by staff that he doesn't want to go to school....and believe me, I've raised enough hell and made his teacher's life so miserable the other teachers are looking at me with fright in their eyes....especially the ones that could be his teachers next year.

You see....here's the thing...had his teacher not been intimidated by the fact that both Mr. Landlord and I are psychologists, she could have communicated with me much earlier than she did about what she was seeing in the classroom. We could have worked together to address a lot of this...and I could have encouraged her to have patience....he will grow out of it. How do I know she's intimidated? Because she makes a point each morning at drop off of telling me how well she parents her own daughters, what classes she has taken at the local community college that have educated her in early childhood education, and how she plans on finishing her associates degree at the end of the year. Hmmmm....associates degree in early childhood education at the local community college vs. doctorate in child psychology...Ya.

So, what has this gotten the teacher? My peering through the window for hours at a time watching how my son is doing, how the other kids are doing, and how the teachers are interacting with them and correcting my son and others. It has also gotten her the added responsibility of keeping a daily journal of how my son did...something - after two days of implementation - she is unable to keep up with. And, it has forced her to talk to me face to face each day when I pick him up about how his day went, what problems were encountered, and how she handled them.

The kicker? I'm rocking him before bed last night - which has become a time when he slows down and processes everything - and I'm telling him how special he is and how much mommy and daddy love him. He responds "I'm not special...I told Ms. Pammie no today." Those sorry mother fuckers...

Yes, he's now on a waiting list to get into a private preschool. I'm seeing private school in his near and distant future. I think I've finally convinced Mr. Landlord of the same.

Welcome back...

2008-01-21T09:39:00.000-08:00

We made it through the holidays...always an interesting time of year. And, the holiday lighting company FINALLY took down our outdoor decorations yesterday...January 20th. Almost one month after Christmas. Good Lord, people.

All is quiet in Landlord land....all three tenants are behaving nicely and only causing minimal disruption. For this, I am thankful...perhaps they intuitively knew that, after the last set of crazies, we needed some peace and quiet...Could be intuition or the "look, mother fuckers, don't fuck up my houses or you'll pay dearly" speech I gave them.

Mr. Landlord's mother and sister came for a visit last weekend. I have since closed the door to Hotel Landlord and sent an email to all of those interested parties looking for a place to crash that we no longer had any vacancies...and would not for a very long time. This was met with significant disbelief and hurt, but who the fuck cares. Why the strong reaction? Here it goes...

Mr. Landlord and I love coffee. We have owned this at $1900+ after taxes, the F7 at $1600+ after taxes, and currently own this at $1600+ after taxes. The DeLonghi is by far the best automatic coffee maker we have ever had. (For those who are interested, the Juras fall apart after 6 months of use...so much so Williams Sonoma will no longer take them back for a full refund after 6 months.) We LOVE this machine. Man, do we love it...

On Friday, Mr. Landlord and I had to be away for a few hours in the morning and left the household to my inlaws, who were also graciously caring for itty bitty landlord. My 82-year-old mother in law also likes her coffee, especially because she freezes her ass off in our house - despite the fact that fireplace is going full tilt and the heater is set at 74 - well above our 67. Neither of my inlaws have EVER seen an automatic coffee maker such as ours, but somehow figured they could "just figure it out." Fuck me running, people...did you click on the link above?....did you see all the buttons and shit that are on this machine?....Seriously....it took me about an hour to get the basics down. This is NOT your Mr. Coffee.

So, once we return to our beloved home, my mother in law casually says "I think Anne may have ruined your coffee maker. She put water in the coffee compartment. She couldn't get it to work after that." My response? A very cool, Oh SHIT. So, I get on the horn to Delonghi, who inform me that I need to turn the machine upside down and let it sit that way for two days to dry out. As I am on the phone with Delonghi, my sister in law is attempting to make a grilled cheese sandwich for my mother in law in my new $200 Viking nonstick saute pan. As I'm standing in the kitchen listening to the phone and watching her, she is spraying nonstick spray in my nonstick pan...FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK! So, I scream at her to put the pan down and she looks at me as if I've lost my mind...which, by this time, I pretty much have. My mother in law explains to her that you can't spray nonstick spray in a nonstick pan....Does this really need to be explained to anyone? Really?

It is Monday and I have since called Delonghi again as the coffee maker still doesn't work, which means I am shipping it off to California to one of the three designated Delonghi repair centers. Delonghi has also informed me that, due to user error, the three month old machine is no longer under warranty. No shit, sherlock...tell my fucking sister in law that, who by the way, can't afford to reimburse us for the coffee maker.

So, no more visitors. EVER. I don't have time to dick around with shipping my $1600 coffee maker to California, clean up after everyone, and keep my sanity. I also don't have another $1600 to spend on another coffee maker.

Let this be a lesson to you all: If you don't know how to use it, and it's not yours, don't fuck with it unless you can afford to pay for it.

Michael Vick

2007-12-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

The news just announced that Michael Vick got 23 months for dog fighting...he got off easy.

In the holiday spirit...

2007-12-07T14:50:00.000-08:00

A woman from my neighborhood just called. She wanted to borrow 40 wine glasses from me for a party that she is giving for the holidays. We are not invited to this party. She knows I have these "fun and fabulous" (her words) wine glasses as I coordinate the neighborhood wine tasting each year and use these wine glasses for the tasting. I see this woman once a year at the neighborhood wine tasting. We have the typical "hello, how are things going?" exchange that never lasts more than 5 minutes. So essentially I talk with her for 5 minutes per year.

I let her borrow my "fun and fabulous" wine glasses. I'm a nice person...with no boundaries...Geeeezzzz.

Ummm...

2007-12-06T12:10:00.000-08:00

To the man standing next to me in the airport security check line:

No, you really don't have to tell me that you're taking your belt off now. It's not necessary.

Photography

2007-12-04T08:15:00.001-08:00

I'd like to share a link to my friend's husband's blog. He is a professional photographer and does really great work. Enjoy!

www.doggettstudios.com

Itty-bitty landlord

2007-12-04T07:57:00.001-08:00

Itty-bitty landlord: Momma, I have two feet!

Ms. Landlord: Yes, you do!

Itty-bitty landlord: Isn't that lovely?!!

How great is that!

And you've just won...A NEW CAR!

2007-11-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

That's what I hope to have after the first of the year. Mr. Landlord and I have been thinking about replacing our 1999 SUVs...his has 275,000 miles on it and mine has 145,000. We believe in buying cars outright with cashola and driving them until they die. Truly...cars are a big waste of money so why pay the bank more money to help you finance one? We are replacing my car first, as the Mr. beleives his will last another year or so. Hey, who am I to argue??? So, here's the big debate...

We LOVE the Mercedes R class. Love it...LOVE IT. It is big enough for Mr. Landlord to sit in the driver seat, passenger seat, and the back seat (a rarity for him to fit back there). He is a big guy...It's just a lovely car, and gets good reviews. (These are all subjective reviews though.) We would get the CDI model simply because it gets higher MPGs than the other models. There is nothing wrong with this car that I can see...except its not a hybrid.

Herein lies the debate...We could get a Lexus 400h for a little bit less money. Mr. Landlord could only fit in the front, and barely in the front passenger seat. My son could probably ride in the back until he was about 5 or 6, which is 3.5 years from now. He's a big kid...100th percentile on all the charts. At that point, we would have to find something else that we could all fit in which would mean plunking down another chunk of cash...Something we aren't prone to do every few years for cars, as evidenced by the fact that our current cars are 9 years old. Size is an issue in our family...(not from obesity, but from height). Mr. Landlord is an ex-football player, so you get the picture...

The other hybrids such as the Toyotas are too small. In fact, my brother-in-law bought the Toyota Highlander Hybrid last year. He's a big guy, too. You should see him and Mr. Landlord get in that thing to go to a football game together. It's quite a sight...once they are strapped in, there's about two inches of space between them. When you look straight down the hood of the car, the top of the windshield cuts off the tops of their heads above their eyebrows. Their knees are touching the dashboard. Other than the fact that they look like sardines, it's truly not a safe ride because they don't fit.

HOWEVER, I'm in love with the hybrid idea. We are torching our environment in so many ways. It breaks my heart and I say my prayers every day that we come together as human beings and work through these environmental issues. Yet, I hear mixed reviews regarding hybrids and their actual MPGs. My brother-in-law says he gets about 28 (significantly lower than what he was told and what was advertised), which is what the R class, CDI model gets. So, any of you out there own hybrids? What are the pros/cons? What kind of gas mileage do you get? Help!

Compromise?

2007-11-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

Isn't that what you do in a marriage...or any partnership for that matter? Mr. Landlord has been DYING to get a flat panel television for our bedroom. Dying...like in "I want what little Timmy wants...I can't see the football players on our little 32 inch screen..." blah blah blah. Our bedroom is becoming a quaint, tastefully done french country black and cream toile theme...all we really need is new furniture. So, after much discussion, and hammering it into my mind that we will eventually have a bedroom version of the UT football jumbotron (which, in case y'all don't know, is the largest jumbotron in a football stadium in the world...Australia will be putting in one that is a little bigger in a few months...) in our bedroom, I conceded...to nothing more than a flat panel 32 inch. I wanted it hung on the wall opposite the foot of the bed, but Mr. Landlord complained that he still would not be able to see the football players. So...I conceded again...yes, you can put it on the dresser...which is four feet from my side of the bed. Off we go...one happily and one dreadfully...to Circuit City to buy this media nightmare. Mr. Landlord, after swearing he's not going to buy anything he doesn't have cash for, buys a 40" tv...to put on the frickin' dresser. 40"....did I say 40"?

So, Mr. Landlord stays home from church yesterday while myself and itty-bitty landlord go to hear the Lord's word and say our prayers...He stayed home so he could finish his work in time to get the tv set up to watch the NFL games in the afternoon. Priorities, anyone?? I swear I haven't seen Mr. Landlord this excited about anything except for the day itty-bitty landlord was born. Indeed, as expected, he gets it hooked up and turned on. I walk into my bedroom and good G-d I thought I would faint...the thing is HUGE. After many questions that essentially ask me if I like it, I don't answer and lie down to take a nap...after all, it's exhausting keeping your trap shut.

Later in the evening, the jumbotron is on as we bath itty-bitty landlord and get him ready for bed. Then, as I crawl into bed, I notice that though all the bedroom lights are off the room seems really...really bright. Then I roll over to see the tv...my eyes start feeling heavy and painful. I think I'm going to start seizing as Mr. Landlord provides a demonstration of some of the features...I NEVER wanted to see the lines and creases around McDreamy's eyes and mouth, but lo and behold, there they are. My head starts pounding. I get up to take tylenol PM so I can get to sleep. I roll over with my back to the tv and try my damndest to sleep, but I swear it's like having a home theatre in your bedroom. I begin feeling the weight of the tv pressing on my back...literally. I'm hating this thing and Mr. Landlord is VERY happy.

Finally, after about 30 minutes of my trying to sleep, Mr. Landlord decides its time to go to bed and turns the thing off. My eyes still see the brightness from the tv and my ears are ringing from the sound. Very shortly, Mr. Landlord is snoring along with the beagle and the lab, and I'm still feeling the weight of the tv on my back...I finally got up and slept in the guest bedroom. I've never had a better nights sleep....

Corn

2007-11-18T06:40:00.000-08:00

they say it's responsible for obesity in children...seriously, I'm watching this on tv now. The woman that espouses this says that corn is in everything we eat and is making our children FAT. Hmmmmm....I'm not so sure about this. Corn may be in most things...on this I have no knowledge and therefore won't argue for or against. However, the obese kids I've seen in practice sit on the couch, watch tv, dvds, and play their video games ALOT. They have no interest in playing outside, running on the playground, walking the dog, or getting involved in sports. I've blogged on this before when my neighbor swore that if she gave her two year old son whole milk he would get FAT. Her pediatrician told her this. Everyone I know grew up on whole milk AND corn and we are not obese, even mildly so. We played outside...all the time. I played soccer, basketball, tennis, and was a member of the drill team. I also ran track. Though my experience in each of these sports was very time limited...I wasn't any good...I played them anyway.

So, here's Dr. Landlord's treatment outline for obese children:

1. Stop feeding them Goldfish, crackers, and other flour based foods for snacks WHEN THEY ARE VERY YOUNG! Good G-d, people, this sets them up for a diet of chips and the like as they grow.

2. Don't give them fried foods...

3. Don't give them fast food...

4. Give them a lot of fruit...eating a lot of fruit makes the transition to vegetables easier as they get older.

5. Take them outside...play with them...teach them to play outside in the yard by playing hide-n-seek, etc.

6. Don't buy into the "I need this game system b/c little johnny does"...this is a surefire way to encourage couch sitting versus getting out and exploring the world. Besides, these game systems are mindnumbing...look at the kids playing these systems...they are completely unaware of whats going on around them...much more than normal.

7. FOLLOW A NUTRITIONAL DIET AND EXERCISE PLAN YOURSELF...YOUR CHILDREN LEARN FROM YOU!

Now, that's not so hard, is it...it's all common sense but damn if people don't bring their kids in for treatment....

Oooops....

2007-11-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

I spoke too soon about the new renters in house #1. Went by there yesterday to have an old washing machine hauled away (the machine was 4 years old....the transmission froze on it...). Oh...My....G-D! These people are disgusting. And they both are professionals. There were dirty plates of leftover food in the living room and on the kitchen counters. There was a pile of dishes in the sink. Dirty laundry was everywhere (at least have it picked up and in one spot - even if the washer isn't working). I just don't get how people can live this way.

On another note...why can't people think outside the box? I mean really...

I'm trying to get my medical records from my doc so that I can obtain a second opinion. I faxed a signed note stating I needed to pick up a copy of my records, and left my phone numbers in case there were questions, issues, etc. So I haven't heard anything and I call the medical records department. After jumping through a bunch of hoops, leaving upteen messages, I finally got a live person on the phone...Apparently I am supposed to fill out THEIR form and send it in and then allow 15 days for them to process my request.

Um, hello....yes, I faxed a note on November 1st and asked that I be contacted should there be any problems.

Yes, I understand you need your form filled out, but your office should have called the numbers on my originally faxed request to state this.

So, you will email me your release and I can fax it back immediately after I have signed it...then what happens? I have a consult appointment in another city this Friday so I need my records before then.

So, you're saying you will see what you can do to get my request processed ASAP...what exactly does that mean?

Yes, I know "ASAP" means "as(s) soon as(s) possible." I don't need and am not asking for a literal translation of ASAP...I'm asking how quickly you can get my records copied.

And so it goes...what fuckers. FFFUUUUUUCCCKKKKEEEEERRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Its been a while...

2007-11-09T08:11:00.000-08:00

since I last blogged. Things have been status quo, but I have been feeling a bit "blah" and not much like getting a whole lot done...despite the fact that my to do list is insanely long. As a side note, have you checked this out? www.todolistblog.com Interesting...who would have thought?

We found renters for house #1 finally. They are an older couple with one grown son. She became ill a few years ago, and long story short, they ended up filing bankruptcy and selling their house to deal with the medical bills. Oh, and during all of this he lost his largest contract and suddenly became unemployed. As a landlord, you always question why someone can't pay their bills...more times than not if they can't pay their bills then they can't pay you the rent (as is the case with our renters in house #2). However, these seem like genuinely nice people, so I am willing to do what I can to make their stay in my house as comfortable as possible.

Their situation brings up the whole health care debate...what a mess we have in this country. Mr. Landlord and I are self-employed, but thankfully can afford to pay for health insurance with a large deductible. This time last year, we were getting raped by high premiums through a John Alden/PHCS plan that the husband of a friend of mine sold us. After some checking around, I finally got a very comparable plan at less than half of what we were paying with a better company. Paying for our health care has been difficult, but throw on top of the premiums and out of pocket the headache of dealing with the actual insurance companies themselves. We all know this nightmare...I have spent so much time on the phone, pacing the house, feeling my blood pressure rise, and knowing damn well that the person on the other end is trained to give the standard, inside the envelope response rather than take the time to really...I mean REALLY....think about the issue at hand and help me find a solution. I have also cursed out people at the insurance company call center. Literally....and I'm not a mean person. I'm pretty sure I dropped the F-bomb a few times. For instance, our deductible is comprised of both medical and prescription drug payouts. We had been paying out of pocket for our prescriptions through June, despite having met our deductible on January 4, 2007. I finally called the insurance company and said, "Hey, what's up?" Their response: "The company that manages the prescription side of your plan had not been getting a copy of the medical claims that paid your deductible. We owe you about $800, so we will get our investigator to sort out all the claims, review each one - both medical and prescription - and get it all straightened out. I promise, Ms. Landlord, you will get your refund." Well three months and MANY phone calls later, I found out they sent my refund to my OB/GYN instead of me. Fuckers...Fuckers....Fuckers...Of course, my OB/GYN would have gotten the money ultimately as I had a balance with him, but damn people, that was my money and it was up to me to decide what to do with it. I've seriously thought about taking the insurance company to court.

So, it's no wonder that my new renters had difficulties that led to bankruptcy, and no wonder that folks don't pay their medical bills. Mr. Landlord and I happen to be one of the few in America that can actually afford to keep ourselves covered. However, we are not far away from ending up in a very precarious and terrible situation. Its a shame that our healthcare system is in such a mess...truly a shame for this great country we live in.

That's my soapbox for the day.

The next generation

2007-10-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

To the mom at B&N:

Your 4-year-old daughter is selfish, self-centered, and doesn't care to share the train set with the 15 month old and 2 year old children who are so desperately trying to play with just one small portion of the entire set.

While you were on your cell phone, your daughter was attempting to plow over both children because they were standing in the way, playing with their small corner of the set that she would allow them to, as she made her way around the entire train table.

While you were on your cell phone, your daughter got a lesson from me in kindness, sharing, empathy, patience, tolerance of others, especially children younger than her.

While you were on your cell phone, I pitied you and found you self-centered, selfish, and empty.

While you were on your cell phone, your daughter grew up to be selfish, self-centered, and empty - just like you.

Dave Matthews Band - The Space Between (Music Video)

2007-10-09T05:52:00.001-07:00

Hmmm...

Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me

2007-10-09T05:51:00.001-07:00

Sit back and enjoy.

The whole milk debate...

2007-10-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

A recent conversation with a neighbor of a toddler my son's age:

HER: So, are you still giving your little dude whole milk?

ME: Of course. I don't have a problem with it.

HER (contrite and indignant): Well, my pediatrician said not to give them whole milk after age two b/c it was too fattening. I give him 1% milk. Personally, I can't stand the taste of whole milk. Besides, I don't want my son to grow up fat. You know, childhood obesity is a problem.

See, here's the thing. Mr. Landlord and I grew up on whole milk. WE are not obese. WE come from a long line of big Italians and Germans. The little dude has been in the 100th percentile in weight and height since he was born. He's a big kid, and his body needs everything it can get. He is the biggest kid in his class, both at preschool and at church, in his age group. He is also more developmentally advanced.

Here's my take on childhood obesity:

When we were little, we spent an enormous amount of time outside. Never inside watching toons or videos, or playing video games. We learned to play hop-scotch, tag, hide and seek, dodgeball, ride bikes, and explore the open neighborhood. Mr. Landlord did the same, and also spent his time down at the creek catching fish and snakes. (He would sell the snakes to the local pet shop...what an enterprising young man.) By playing like this, we developed the ability to acquire, manage, and sustain long term friendships and social relationships, which made us better people growing up and into adulthood. The concepts/issues of childhood depression, childhood bipolar disorder, ADHD, etc. were pretty much nonexistent. (For the purpose of this post, I won't get into the controveries surrounding these issues and discuss the numerous reasons why they are more prevalent today.) We played organized sports, and learned teamwork through this and other avenues. We experienced plenty of sunshine. And we learned to think critically and abstractly through playing board games.

Childhood obesity is NOT soley caused by ingesting whole milk, for G-d's sake. Get your kids outside. Encourage them to develop social skills through inviting friends over to play, or organizing a neighborhood dodgeball game. Hell, even basketball. Quit feeding them damned fast food and all beige diets. (Granted, toddlers go through the beige stage, but it is shortlived if you handle it right.) Don't make a big deal out of your kid's diet...this is a surefire way to 1) set up a situation of control between you and him/her and 2) it set's them up for a bad relationship with food later in life. If you obsess over what they eat...and I mean OBSESS...then they are likely to obsess over it too...either they will refuse to eat all together, or eat to spite you. Bake them cookies every once in a while...show them it's okay to enjoy the "bad" stuff such as cookies and cake in moderation. And finally, set a good example by eating good, wholesome foods and eating WITH them...Now there's a novel idea...A family meal together.

On Becoming a Slumlord, Part 3

2007-10-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

How do I protect myself from bad tenants?

You know, sizing up potential tenants becomes a gut instinct...over a lot of time. I'm am still not good at it. You have to keep in mind that people rent for a variety of reasons: They can't afford to buy, they are still too young to buy, they've run into financial difficulties, their getting a divorce, etc. etc. There are a few things you can do to protect yourself and your investment though.

1. Stick to the lease...don't give an inch. As with most anything else, if you give an inch, they will take a mile.

2. Don't negotiate the rent. You set the rent at what you are comfortable with. It is your comfort you should be worried about, not theirs.

3. Do extensive background checking. This includes credit, criminal, and sex offender back ground checks.

4. I can't say it enough but do frequent, unannounced inspections. Leave a note letting them know you were there and what you found, if anything. This let's them know you are watching your property. (Be sure to have it written in the lease that you can enter at any reasonable time unannounced.)

5. Don't get sucked into sob stories, which is easy to do. Again, stick to the lease, or as my real estate attorney says, to the "letter of the lease." If they begin to give a sob story, just refer them back to the original lease saying this is what you agreed to. That's it...

6. Don't allow them to get any of your personal information. Just plain good boundaries here.

7. If they don't pay the rent on time, within the grace period, IMMEDIATELY put a warning letter on the inside of the front door giving them 24 hours to pay. If they don't pay within 24 hours, start the eviction process. Evicting someone can take up to 3 months in some places. Don't delay. If they can't pay, then they can't pay...simple as that.

8. Get a good real estate attorney who works with rental properties. Let your attorney handle everything. This will save your sanity when trying to navigate the legal system...trust me. It will also give you an edge in court. The cost for the attorney can be deducted from their security deposit.

9. Again, stick to the lease to the "t". Keep your relationship with your tenants simple...you're the landlord, they are the tenant. Get a good attorney.

A recent conversation

2007-10-04T12:31:00.001-07:00

I called the tenants in house #3 two weeks ago...the conversation went something like this:

ME: Tenant, we haven't received your September rent check. You said you were putting it in the envelope you mailed at the end of August with the other deposit checks, but it was not in there. Only the deposit checks were in there.

TENANT: You know, I've been watching my bank account and the check hasn't cleared. I kept watching for it though.

ME: Okaaaayyyy.....well it looks like you need to send another check or money order.

At this point I am thinking to myself, "so, if you're watching your bank account to make sure your rent check clears...and it doesn't....and you have already received a notice from the attorney threatening eviction if you don't pay on time...wouldn't you be on top of this rather than risk having your landlord call you AGAIN and getting evicted?"

I'm an idiot...could someone please explain this to me? I mean, really...please...explain....

I wish I were this dog...

2007-10-03T14:27:00.000-07:00

Life should be this good.

http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/animals/Dog_Loves_Water_Slide/

On becoming a Slumlord, Part 2

2007-10-03T10:29:00.001-07:00

To buy an older home or a newer home...

I really don't think is a right or wrong answer here. Both types of homes have their pros and cons, so I'll talk about each separately.

Buying a new home guarantees you have the builder's warranty for at least one year. AND if anything goes wrong after that for the first two or three years that is related to construction, they will more than likely fix it for free even though the warranty has run out. This has been my experience. You just have to know how to bat your eyes and sweet talk them...sexist, I know, but predictable. You also know that the appliances will be new, so you won't have to worry about a water heating going out or replacing a fridge for a number of years. The paint will be new, the plumbing will work properly, etc. etc. Essentially, your repair costs will be minimal. Finally, your rent home will be in a more desirable area that is more likely to attract better tenants.

However, you are likely to have a larger mortgage payment than if you went with an older home. This means you will have to charge more for rent, your taxes will be higher (depending on location of course), and the insurance might be higher. If you do this right, there is a balance and you can actually make some money buying a new home. A newer home is more attractive to renters who can afford to live in the nicer areas, and I have found they are more likely to take care of your property as they care about the conditions they live in.

Buying an older home can be a crapshoot at times. The inspector will likely find more things wrong with the home, and it may be in a less desirable neighborhood. The latter of course depends on whether you are buying in the tony, charming yuppie part of town in which people buy these older homes, pay a fortune for them, and remodel them thereby maintaining the integrity of the older neighborhood. If you are doing this, be prepared to spend a pretty penny just keeping the home in accordance with the neighborhood HOA. With an older home you can expect to find previous repairs completed in a half-ass manner, which means you will most likely need to go in at some point and have those repairs "repaired" at a much higher cost. You also run the risk of having to replace water heaters and appliances, which can be costly. You may also need to go in and have a number of repairs completed just to get the house in rentable condition.

If you are considering this with the attitude that you're in it to make money and don't care about the overall condition of the house, then an older home may be the way to go. But be warned, as in all areas of life, if you do this half-ass your returns when you try to get rid of the property will be half-ass. AND half-ass repairs will cost you more in the long run.

I rented a 1930s duplex in a charming, well-kept neighborhood in OKC during my internship year. It had wood floors, a lot of space, a washer and dryer and the tile in the bathtub was new. It was also painted in really great neutral colors. However, I soon discovered the decades old heating system was in poor repair and a fire hazard, the window A/C units were not kept up properly, it was infested with roaches, and the vines climbing on the outside of the house were growing inside the windows (the gaps in the windows were that bad.) I also came home one day to find a busted pipe in the bathroom that was flooding my poor little dog out of her home. The landlord essentially didn't care to have repairs done in such a manner that the integrity of the house was maintained, but instead from the standpoint of how cheap could she get the repairs completed. She also didn't care that roaches were eating my sweaters. I imagine if she tried to dump the duplex, she would have a hard time it was in such bad shape.

A friend of mine bought a house in 1973 for about $26,000 and has been renting it over the years. Again, there has been a half-ass approach to having repairs completed. Now, the value of the house rose to about $130,000. Yet, when it came time to dump the property, it sat on the market for a year and a half because the foundation was in such ill repair no one wanted to touch it. It also needed some major repairs. It has taken almost $75,000 to get the house in good enough shape to sell it, which she finally did. However, when you compare the value of the house to how much she made in the sell, she didn't really make that much money. Of course, she was just glad to get rid of it.

Overall, you really have to look at the cost of buying and maintaining the home versus how much you can actually get in monthly rent. Take a long hard look at this...Also consider whether the mortgage payment is so much that you can't afford to make that payment along with your own home payments when it is sitting empty for a month or two waiting for the next renters to move in. There have been times when we have had two houses empty at the same time...it's not easy making three mortgage payments at once.

Of course, if you have the cash to buy a property outright, then by all means go for it. You'll be way ahead of the game!

On becoming a Slumlord, Part 1

2007-10-02T09:05:00.001-07:00

In a recent conversation, a friend revealed a desire to become a slumlord as a means to make more money and to have something to do. After much thought, I decided to write more about what I know about landlording...perhaps educating those who are indeed thinking of getting into this crazy business.

My background: I hold a doctorate in child psychology, but am currently staying at home with my toddler. So, since I'm not "working at a job" (I think being a mom is a 24/7 job, even if you go on frickin' vacation), it is logical between myself and Mr. Landlord (the breadwinner) that I be the one to manage the rental properties we own. We own three rent houses. The first is our previous residence and a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood. The other two are new homes located in up and coming areas of the burbs around our town. We purchased the latter two because the areas they are in are currently being developed into mega shopping areas, more schools, etc. etc. so we know their value will certainly increase over time, and perhaps increase the quickest over the next few years as the development continues.

Now, being a landlord is time CONSUMING. You think that you get a property, get some folks in it, and you're all set until the end of their lease. WRONG. If you really want to maintain your property and make sure it isn't being torn to pieces, you must do biweekly or at least monthly inspections. Remember: it is an investment so the better care it receives the better your return will be. It should be written in your lease that you are allowed to enter the property at any reasonable time you choose, unannounced, for inspection. This helps ensure that you have control over what happens to your property. Tenants will NEVER report repair needs unless it inconveniences them in some way. I had some tenants who had a leaky shower and they never reported it. Didn't inconvenience them. However, when they moved out I found the leak and ended up having to hire a guy to break into the wall, fix the leak, put the wall back together, paint, etc. This was more costly than their deposit, but the leak wasn't found until too late. Shame on me for not doing proper inspections. Proper, unannounced inspections will ensure your property is appropriately maintained, and will alert you to problem tenants...to be covered later. However, it is...again...time consuming.

Now, if you get a high maintenance tenant in the property, that eats up more of your time. They report EVERYTHING, which requires several visits a week as well as many phone calls OR they are the type of tenant that you suspect has the potential to really do some damage so you have to conduct inspections at the very least once per week or more. This eats a lot of time, especially when you are trying to manage your own home and your own family. Why not hire a management company? Good question...we'll cover that later as well.

Finally, if you go on vacation, be prepared to have your vacation interrupted by an emergency phone call from a tenant. On our last beach vacation, I spent one day trying to find someone to fix the fridge in one of the houses. A storm blew threw, shorted the outlet, and fried the fridge. Then there were several followup calls to ensure the repairs were done and to pay the repair people, as well as hear more from our tenant about how we should pay for their lost groceries. Sorry, if a storm blew threw at my house and my fridge fried, I wouldn't have anyone to cover my lost groceries. I'm not mother frickin' nature.

Overall, our rental properties consume about 40% of my time per week. That leaves 60% for my own family and my own home. Seems like enough, but it really isn't. Things always come up and my own home and family fall by the wayside. The requirements of being a landlord also fluctuate...a lot. One week I may have to focus on all three rental properties the entire week, thereby letting my own home responsibilities pile up until I can get to them, and then another week I may hear nothing from our tenants. But on those weeks, I'm catching up from the previous week so I can't focus on what needs to be currently done. It is a constant game of catching up. This is something to think about...

So, next time I'll talk about what type of property to buy - a new or older home.

Teachers...

2007-10-01T07:43:00.000-07:00

I just returned home from dropping the little dude off at school. This is PRESCHOOL and he goes 3 days a week for about 6 hours. There are no bells. You can drop off and pick up anytime between 7:30 and 5:15 pm. He arrived at 9:15. We got a NASTY stare from his teacher and a very curt hello...apparently arriving at 9:15 is disturbing to the "flow" of class and the teacher had to stop reading to get him some goldfish so he could join his buddies at the table for snack. Again, it is policy that you can drop off at any time...if you need to establish a cut off time, people, then do so. If you leave the drop off/pick up time open, then expect a few interruptions in the mornings...

This is why I hate the school system....

Babysitting blues

2007-10-01T03:19:00.001-07:00

In my continued search for a babysitter, I registered to participate in Mommy Mixer. I have known about this service for about 1.5 years, but refused to participate in the past. The dude was too young to have an inexperienced college freshman taking care of him. However, desperate times call for desperate measures so I broke down and decided to expand my sitter search.

So, the premise of this mixer is that moms needing babysitters meet college girls looking for babysitting/nanny gigs at local hip and trendy businesses willing to host the event. College girls fill out an application on the website for FREE and moms register by paying $100 and signing a waiver stating they understand the girls have not had background checks, etc. conducted on them by Mommy Mixer. It's kinda like speed dating for babysitters.

Mommy Mixer gets rave reviews, and my neighbor knows the owner of this business. In theory it is a fantastic idea, and there is certainly a need for this type of service. And Mommy Mixer is expanding to many, many cities across the U.S. However....

Yesterday was my day to go, so I got dressed, put on makeup, did my hair and walked out the door leaving Mr. Landlord and the dude together for father-son bonding. I was looking forward to seeing what it was all about and hoping beyond all hope that I would find a person that meets my standards for a babysitter. I'm still hoping...

Upon arrival I signed in and picked up my babysitter notebook containing the resumes of all the girls that were supposed to be in attendance, as well as resumes of girls "who couldn't be [there] but would love to find a wonderful family to babysit for." In all, there were about 35 resumes in the notebook. It was looking promising...

Then all the moms started filing in...one after another. But I kept looking for the potential sitters. Hmmm....they have to be around here somewhere. There are supposed to be about 25 girls here. Then the hostess with the mostess announces that, for some unknown reason, several girls couldn't make it to the event so we would just get started...

There were 7 girls and 30 mothers there. You do the math. The event organizer made about $3000 for 1.5 hours, and the mothers were out $100 and only got to interview 7 girls. I want my money back...

Dave Matthews Band - Everyday

2007-09-26T14:31:00.001-07:00

Take 4 minutes and enjoy.

Bipolar Disorder

2007-09-26T11:37:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while I get to use the 23 years of education I obtained. Following is evidence that, indeed, I am actually a doctor.

While on internship and post-doc I found myself being confused by the requirement to "assign a diagnosis" to whomever walked through my door for help. To assign a diagnosis is indeed important as it guides treatment planning and implementation, and gives outside clinicians a brief idea of what behaviors/issues the clients are presenting with. However, I believe - much to the disappointment of some of my supervisors during those years - that in order to be a good diagnostician you need to get to know the diagnostic criteria (obvious) as well as the person/family sitting in front of you. Diagnosing from the hip went against my grain and left me feeling quite uncertain...as if I had incorrectly labeled someone. Which is important...once you give a diagnosis to someone, that diagnosis has the potential to become a label by which to identify that person and sticks with them until the end of time. This can be gravely dangerous, especially when working with children in the school system. The schools LOVE to have diagnoses, and once the teachers hear "ADHD" or "Conduct Disorder" that poor child doesn't have a chance in hell. Regardless of what we all think of the teachers who watch over our babies during the day, they are human and they have biases and sit in judgement.

Now, on the other hand, diagnoses WHEN USED CORRECTLY can be quite helpful in guiding treatment. Yet, I am often struck by colleagues and other mental health professionals who go with the diagnosis du jour without doing proper and thorough investigation. 10 years ago it was ADHD for children, and now it has become Bipolar Disorder. This is a serious illness, folks. And very complicated. Wouldn't want my kid to have it. And there are some children who do indeed exhibit symptoms associated with Bipolar Disorder, which can make their lives and their family lives hell. Here is a recent NIMH article that touches on the seriousness of diagnosing children with Bipolar Disorder.

Having said all of this:

1. If you find you or a family member needs mental health assistance, do your homework and find a clinician that looks at the behaviors and symptoms over time and in different settings (home, school, playground, work, etc.).

2. The best clinician is one that is a good fit for you, in addition to #1. This means it may take seeing and talking to 2 or 3 clinicians to find the right one. Treatment will fail if you don't like your treatment provider.

3. If you hear the diagnosis du jour, be skeptical. Do your homework. Get second and third opinions.

4. The clinician should focus on the behaviors and symptoms, not the diagnosis. If they focus on the diagnosis...RUN.

5. Treatment should be a collaboration between you and the clinician...this is important.

6. Finally, know that a diagnosis is just a label that contains in it's definition a description of the symptoms and behaviors that are included in the label. Focus on the symptoms and behaviors...your clinician will, too.

Bloggers beware...interesting

2007-09-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

In the tiny little town of Paris, Texas there seems to be a lawsuit that should be of interest to all bloggers, and will likely make case law.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5149745.html

Back to the in-laws

2007-09-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law, his wife, his 7-year-old daughter, his 11-year-old son, and their 14-year-old niece on his wife's side were here this past weekend for a football game. I had 8 people in my house. I spent 6 hours making lasagna Saturday morning (Mr. Landlord's request...and since he is special he got the lasagna) and made a cake the night before. So, yes, I was Susie Homemaker.

I typically make it a point to know what folks like to eat before they come...I think it makes the visit more comfortable for them. My niece and nephew are very picky eaters, and their mother - an OB/GYN - has a history of being obsessed with what they eat. READ: no junk food and their snacks are Power Bars and milk. No fruit juice is allowed. And my niece has told me that McDonald's fries are the equivalent of the anti-christ. Once when they were here, I made a batch of cinnamon rolls, and their mother quickly came into my kitchen and unveiled a package of bran muffin mix which they brought from home that she was going to make for them - which I gladly turned over my kitchen for her to proceed. (These children are doomed to develop eating disorders from their mother's fear that they will turn into hefty Italians like their dad and his family.) So I felt compelled to make double sure I knew what they liked to eat. I was informed that my niece only likes elbow noodles with butter and parmesan for dinner...AND the butter had to be the I Can't Believe Its Not Butter Light spray. Sounds easy enough. Off to the store I go.

I'm standing in front of the butter case looking for this special spray and feel this sense of sadness and great irritation come over me. Then I realize...what the hell am I doing? I'm willingly buying this child, who could use a few pounds on her, LIGHT BUTTER SPRAY to put on her noodles. I'm contributing to a future of eating disorder hell for this child. And in the greater picture, I'm going overboard in making sure people are comfortable in my home in an effort to ease MY OWN ANXIETY for having people in my house. THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!!! I should not have to worry about my three dogs getting their hair on the floor so my niece and nephew won't be able to sit on the floor and play with my son. I should not have to worry that my sister-in-law is afraid of big dogs. I should not have to wash, dry, and fold FOUR sets of sheets by the time everyone is gone, much less clean the fucking kitchen....AGAIN! AND, I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PUT ASIDE TIME FOR MY SON TO MAKE SURE THESE PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE IN MY HOME! By the time they left, I had barely seen my baby boy all weekend. How suck ass is that????

Sue Doe left a comment on one of my previous posts about inlaws saying I had no boundaries. Thank you, Sue Doe, for the little dose of reality. It was a Godsend. That comment ran through my mind while standing in front of the butter, and has not since left my mind. Sometimes we psychologists need reality to slap us in the face....

Thankfulness...and humility

2007-09-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

My back has been out for about 2.5 weeks now. Getting through the daily "stuff" takes a lot, especially with a toddler. So, while trying to take a nap I turned on the tube yesterday to get my mind off the pain. I chose CNN thinking I would see enough boring news blah blah blah that I would fall right to sleep. Boy, was I wrong.

CNN was featuring a story of the life of women in Afghanistan for the last 6 years. I was so captured by the story and images that I could not sleep nor relax. The women in this story, or in Afghanistan for that matter, would think of me as a woman of great wealth and luxury. I think of them as woman of great strength and power, though they are unable to demonstrate their strength and power in their current culture. These women continue to wear burkas, and many are found begging on the streets as they have no education or jobs. One woman featured in the story was a war widow...her husband had been killed by an American bomb. She was left to raise her two daughters. Her days consisted of begging on the streets. The cameras showed men laughing at and belittling her. Very few stopped to give her money. Other women remained in extremely abusive relationships. It was a free-for-all type of abuse....they could be abused by their mother-in-laws, husbands, brother-in-laws, or their own family. Many set themselves on fire to escape the abuse. The video, pictures, and stories are heart wrenching.

Not much has changed for these woman since the U.S. invaded Afghanistan 6 years ago, despite reports they are experiencing better treatment, living conditions, etc. since the Taliban is no longer in power. I live a life of great luxury compared to these women. I am free to make my own choices, state what is on my mind without fear, be independent, choose my relationships with significant others, obtain 23 years of education, and raise my child to be strong and independent yet compassionate toward others. Yes, I worked for it and Yes, I live in a different country. And there are no doubt social psychology issues within that culture which maintain the current state that I can't even begin to discuss here. However, I am grateful and thankful everyday for everything I have...this show and the story of these women is a fantastic reminder.

Now I'll go back to bitching about my in-laws...

I have no idea...

2007-09-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

So, my 82-year-old mom-in-law fell a few weeks ago and broke her collar bone, knee cap and sustained a compression fracture in her back. She has needed round the clock care since. Given she had 9 children, the girls in the family are voluteering to take care of her. This has caused serious infighting amongst the girls and has worn them out...the infighting is the most disturbing. What is the solution? I voted for getting a night nurse a few nights a week to give everyone a break. My mom-in-law refuses this saying she doesn't want a stranger in her house. Ya, okay, I understand this to some extent. HOWEVER, she has seen as of late the strain and stress this is causing amongst the siblings, so you would think she would be willing to give up a few nights of familiarity to a nurse who is better qualified to take care of her. But no...

My heart goes out to the entire family. The infighting is ridiculous...you read the emails and think that these people are younger than 10 years old, rather than in their 50s. Their focus has gone from taking care of their aging mother to who is doing the best job and who can't be trusted with the care of their mother. Some of their points may be valid, to which I again say get a fucking night nurse people...someone stand up to the plate and say "mom, we want what is best for you and right now a night nurse would be better qualified to take care of you than we are." I have said my two cents, and essentially need to back out at this point...I am only the in-law, which implies my influence is quite limited.

Dear Lord, please send me a babysitter

2007-09-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

Mr. Landlord and I are long overdue for some one-on-one time and adult meals and conversation. Finding a good, reliable babysitter is next to impossible. We are not asking for much, just an occasional Saturday evening out. Previously, we had a Spanish nanny/housekeeper two days a week who liked to babysit on the weekends for extra money. However, when my son started speaking she couldn't communicate with him anymore so she's out. Then we hired someone from "Grandparents Unlimited" to babysit one Saturday night who looked like an ex-meth addict...we were so nervous about her, we drove around the neighborhood and then parked at the end of the street - with the house in view - until the appropraite time interval lapsed which would allow us to go back into the house and say the movie was sold out. Our neighbors refuse to share their babysitting resources for fear that we will book their babysitter on the same night they need someone. Sooooooo....I posted an ad for a babysitter/nanny on the university job bank last week. It goes something like this:

Need babysitter/nanny for 2.5 year old boy. Must be energetic, creative, patient, caring, and engaging. (READ: You cannot sit and stare at my son while he is playing when you are babysitting.) Must also be CPR trained and English speaking, as well as classified as a sophomore or greater.

Do you think anyone will respond?

Ya, I'm calling about the house you have for rent...

2007-09-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

{ring} ME: Hello?
CALLER: Um, ya....I was calling about the house you have for rent?
ME: Yes...How can I help you?
CALLER: Well, um...let's see...is it still available?
ME: Yes, it is. What kind of questions do you have?
CALLER: Well, how big is it?
ME: As the ad says, it is 4 bedroom/2 bath/2 car garage...about 2000 square feet.
CALLER: Um....Ummmmmm.....It's 4 bedroom?
ME: Yes, indeedeee....
CALLER: How much is the rent?
ME: As the ad says, the rent is $1600.
CALLER: Ummmm.....
ME: Like I said, it's 4/2/2, fenced in backyard with deck, hardwood and ceramic tiled floors, all new appliances, new countertops in kitchen, the owner maintains the yard, you have access to a community pool/playground/tennis courts, the elementary school is 1 mile away, grocery store is 1.5 miles away, the deposit is one month's rent and can be paid out over two months, the pet deposit is $500 - 1/2 of which is nonrefundable. There is an HOA so you will be required to abide by all HOA rules and regulations. The interior is painted in warm, neutral colors. There is a large kitchen with an island and separate breakfast area. It also comes with a washer and dryer. What else do you need to know?
CALLER: Ummm.....
ME: Let me know if you can think of anything else. Thanks for calling. {click}

and so it goes....

Madeleine McCann

2007-09-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

This is a sickening development in this case. I am sure many people out there are screaming "I told you so," but that never accomplishes much. First of all - we, the general public, have NO IDEA what is happening and why. Mr. Landlord works on such cases...everything that is released to the media is controlled...That's right folks...those unnamed sources have a name and they know and the police know what they are telling the media. Secondly, these parents are true fuckups for leaving their children alone at night. I am amazed that they have not been brought up on child endangerment/child neglect charges at this point, but I am sure it will come - there is a reason for this as well. However, having said that - focusing on their fuckup does not make anything right for this child, or help in figuring out what happened to her.

This is the other sickening development is this story. What the hell were they thinking. That's all I can say....

I will continue to watch what happens with this, as I am sure many other people will. It is incredibly difficult not to point the finger at these parents and repress the urge to scream at them for being such neglecting, selfish, self-centered parents for leaving their children alone while they enjoy dinner...even if the condo was within eyesight. I imagine that eyesight got pretty dim once the wine hit. However, that is all we know they have done at this point...Though I can never imagine a parent would intentionally harm their own children, I've seen it happen and have treated people who do these things...Nothing surprises me anymore.

Help for tenants...

2007-09-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

Following are some guidelines for tenants, to ensure that they 1) will enjoy a positive relationship with their landlord, 2) get repairs performed in a timely manner and 3) get their deposit back.

1. Read the lease...in detail. Understand it. It is a legal, binding contract.
2. Abide by the lease...to the "t".
3. Report repairs in a timely manner...the longer you wait, the more damage is done. This will be legally interpreted as your neglect, not the landlords and therefore you will be responsible for the repair bill.
4. Don't attempt repairs on your own. If the repair is of poor quality, you will be responsible for the entire repair to fix what you have done and what the original problem was.
5. Clean up after your pets. Just one pee spot in the carpet can cost you your entire deposit and more.
6. If you have the carpets cleaned, they will look great initially after the cleaning. However, stains don't go away. They "wick" back up into the carpet from the pad, and the stain reappears. Just FYI...
7. The landlord has the legal right to access the property at any time...ANY TIME. It is the landlords property.
8. ANY violation of a lease can result in eviction...ANY.
9. The landlord has to abide by the property codes written and enforced by the state. The property codes protect you, so know them. (They also protect the landlord.)
10. There is typically a Tenants Council in your city or state. Call the Tenants Council, which is a government agency which provides information regarding property codes, etc. if you have questions about what is happening. They can provide you resources.
11. Landords have the ability to provide a negative report for your credit report. This will seriously hurt your chances of renting a nice place later as well as buying your own place.
12. If the property looks unkempt, it means the landlord doesn't invest time or money in the property. Don't rent it.
13. Legally in some states, landlords only have to repair items that pose a serious health risk to you. READ: Be respectful of the landlord and the property, and your more likely to get your repairs completed.
14. If you rent a property that is in HOA territory, abide by the HOA rules. HOAs will impose fines for rule violations, which you will have to pay. If you violate the rules and don't pay the fines, you will be evicted. Also, too many HOA violations can result in eviction.
15. At the beginning of the lease, ask for an inventory checklist. This checklist lets you list, item by item, room by room anything...ANYTHING...that is wrong with the property. You and your landlord will then sign off on it once it is complete. If you get a checklist and are given a timeline to return it, abide by the timeline. If you don't return the checklist in time, then you can legally be held liable for anything that is wrong with the property when you move out - even if the damage was there before you moved in. Be sure to keep a copy of the SIGNED checklist.
16. When you move out, clean the property and then schedule a walk through with the landlord. Have your inventory checklist on hand to prove what damage you caused and what damage was there when you moved in. Don't return the key until this is completed and you and your landlord agree on the final walk through.
17. If you are evicted, you are still financially responsible for the remainder of the lease term...even if the landlord immediately re-rents the property after your belongings have been removed.
18. If you break the lease, you are still financially responsible for the remainder of the lease....
19. If you do not give proper move out notice, you forfeit your deposit.
20. If you get a pet and don't tell the landlord, the landlord can remove the pet from the premises within 24 hours of discovering the pet. The cost of removing and housing the pet, defleaing the premises, cleaning the premises of all pet related damage, etc. will be your responsibility. You can also be evicted for this if there is a no pets clause in your lease.

Just some info to help folks understand their responsibility when they lease a place to live. Know the lease and know your rights...you'll have a better experience.

In defense of landlords

2007-09-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

I was checking out YouTube to see what types of videos folks had made about their landlords. Landlords are getting a really bad rap. People are upset that their landlords came into their apartment/home while they weren't home, they aren't getting all of their deposit back for a variety of reasons, on and on. So, here's a video made by a landlord while he is touring one of his properties...this video is the reason landlords are so damn adamant that their property is protected. And to the girl who left the key on the counter with a note saying "send my deposit to this address," next time do a walk through with your landlord after you have cleaned the place. You'll likely get your deposit back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ape9oF8uQAM

Medication could help with this...

2007-09-05T01:01:00.000-07:00

The following is a true email I received. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Hey girls! Hope everyone is having a great week. I have totally dropped the ball on this one and I feel sooooooooooo badly-I hope that you all will jump in and bail me out. I have promised Shirley that I would throw a sip and see for everyone to meet the baby-and mostly a chance for us to shower her and make her feel special...so...I left it on the back burner and I hosted 4 other baby showers in August-now this is the last one and it is Sept and the baby has been here for weeks...ahhhh....I apologize! ...anyway-I've talked with her and the best date for her is next Thursday-Sept 6th- I know this is so soon and with no advance warning-totally my fault! I was trying to secure a location-will have it here if I have to but Joey will be gone and I hate for a babysitter to get the kids down with us here so I was trying to avoid my house....then Laverne offered but with her baby so soon, can't really do that to her-then I roped Jennifer b/c she is so close to Shirley location wise-but now Jennifer's husband has to travel and they have bday plans Thurs night...then, I got the unexpected email from Courtney-we had talked about Shirley's girls night out being the bunco replacement in Aug and I'm sorry to put one party on top of another....but I promise this will be VERY LOW KEY-just drinks, baby girl presents-nothing big at all. If someone is willing to have us over for an hour or two next Thurs, that would be awesome, if not, any suggestions on a great rest-we could have margaritas/dinner at El Arroyo b/c it is so close!?!? Okay-please email me and let me know if you can make it or ideas-totally appreciate it-I will now keep my mouth shut and stop messing up plans...Ms. Disorganized and Needs Meds

What the Fuck???? First of all, Shirley emailed Ms. Disorganized and Needs Meds insisting that this not take place...not once, but four times. Some poor unsuspecting soul stepped up to the plate and bailed her out, agreeing to host this soiree at 7 pm on a Thursday night...which leads to my second point - it's on a weeknight at 7 pm, people...school has started AND do you really think Shirley and her now 7 week old baby want to be the center of attention from 7 until 9 pm at night????? Shirley is a pretty good friend of mine, though the friendship is 95% onesided (benefiting her of course), but I have totally opted out of this craziness. The above email makes me bonkers just reading it. I did my new baby duty by co-hosting a barbecue for Shirley and her family in honor of the new addition to the family, by helping out after the baby was born, and by being the ONLY friend on the block that visited the Shirley clan in the hospital after the baby was born. Shirley has all but begged for me to attend this get together, and I am firm in my stance. This is a good representation of what my neighbors are like...

Ugh...I just can't think of an appropriate title to this...I'm that annoyed

2007-09-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

Mr. Landlord has a female friend/colleague...I'll call her Maria...in particular that I steer clear of...or at least try to. Maria was in his life long before me, so therefore comes with the package. I am in no way threatened by Maria and am more than sure that she will never become a "romantic" friend to Mr. Landlord. They have more of a father-daughter relationship, as her father has never been present in her life and apparently is a man of questionable character. I respect Mr. Landlord's role of father figure, and can see how it benefits Maria. However, I have NOTHING in common with Maria other than we both have an attachment...albiet different type of...to Mr. Landlord. Quite frankly, I don't like talking with her...she is annoying, and continually reminds me of how much longer she has known and how much better she knows Mr. Landlord than do I -- the latter being a delusion of hers. As a psychologist, I obviously recognize this as insecurity on her part, and knowing what I know about her, can see the role this oneupmanship serves for her and take it in stride. (She not only does this to me, but to other colleagues that they both work with...it's quite juvenile to watch and my sense is other folks feel the same way about her.) As a person, it's annoying. And even more annoying are her attempts at building a relationship with me, especially since I have no desire for said relationship. These attempts are also annoying b/c ultimately they are to serve a superficial purpose...to show me that she is very special to Mr. Landlord...not out of a genuine desire to become a friend to me. I know she has a relationship with him, and I know for her it is special...I also know it is more special for her than for Mr. Landlord.

When Mr. Landlord and I were expecting, she decided she wanted to throw a baby shower for us, which I graciously accepted. What the hell did I know? I had never had a baby before. However, this was one over the top baby shower with catered food and drink, expensive gifts, elaborate invitations, etc. etc. The theme of the baby shower was hunting, as Mr. Landlord is an avid hunter and marksman---I am NOT a hunter, so I was a bit offended that she would only consider Mr. Landlord's interests/hobbies when planning this outrageous event. Yet, I knew also that the focus of the day was the baby and the friends and family that were there to celebrate with us. Ultimately though for Maria, it was an expensive attempt to impress upon everyone in attendance her view that she is the "chosen one" in Mr. Landlord's life (trust me on this delusion of hers)...and that she was the only one that could do such a wonderful thing for him.

Does this all sound a bit selfish/self-centered? Probably...but I focus on this today b/c yesterday was my birthday and the last joyous phone call I got before retiring to bed was from Maria, wanting to wish me a happy birthday...a superficial happy birthday wish at best. And this annoyed me. I personally have not heard from her in almost a year. The conversation, after the initial "Hi! We wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday," turned to how stupid the other colleagues were in her view b/c they just don't know what she knows, they aren't as smart as her, and they don't know how close she is to Mr. Landlord so that makes them idiots, and how she is so worried that Mr. Landlord is working so much and how this could hurt his health, blah blah blah...By the time I got off the phone...30 minutes and several attempts by me to end the call later...I wanted to phone Mr. Landlord, who is out of town on business, and scream at him to intervene and tell this crazy woman to leave my happy ass alone...Obviously me as a person is reacting here...Not me as a psychologist.

I am all about developing friendships and relationships with people...However, I refuse to spend what little and precious time I have with people who engage in relationships solely with self-serving objectives and motives. Spare me your superficial bullshit...I don't have time for it and it gets really messy.

All is quiet...until football season

2007-08-31T07:33:00.000-07:00

All is quiet in tenant land...so far. I'm sure that will change next week when I make a surprise visit to house #3 to see the yard demolished from lack of water.

We experience a high number of family visitors this time of year as it is football season. Mr. Landlord purchases season tickets to the university games every year, and football is a HUGE thing of importance in his family.

I am NOT a football fan. Could care less about the game. I'm pretty sure it contributed to the demise of more than one of my previous relationships, and I swore I would NEVER marry someone who enjoyed it. Alas, I caved to the charms, good looks, sweetness, kindness, and smartness of Mr. Landlord despite his love of this seemingly nonsensical game.

So now, every year, we have members of the big clan vying for weekend visits to get a free ticket and a place to stay. It seems that everyone enjoys coming for visits as they feel at home and get a good, homecooked meal. I hear from more than a few of the fam that they even sleep better in my house. I think this has to do with the fact that we turn the thermostat down to 66 every night...funny how that helps people burrow down into the covers and take a nice, long, deep sleep.

I am fine with folks coming, and even enjoy doting on fam members a bit, making sure they are comfortable and meeting most of their basic needs. However...it is work...a lot of work. You gotta clean before they come, and clean after they leave. As I said in an earlier post, I have begun to refuse to cook for everyone as most of them have horrible eating habits and don't like the healthy stuff I cook. It's also a lot of work to cook for a lot of people, especially when you have a 2yearold. After everyone is gone, I typically have to go through all the bathrooms and bedrooms, straighten everything, strip the beds, wash the sheets and towels, clean up the piles of papers and magazines in the living room, fold the blankets and return them to the back of the couches, take out the trash, clean the dishes, and replenish the pantry. This takes an entire day. And yes, I have a cleaning service...but feel guilty asking them to clean after extra people, and can't wait for them to come and clean up the mess.

So, as we approach the Labor Day weekend with the opening of football season, I will welcome those who come to visit, and pray that some will pick up after themselves.

Dogs and heat stroke and diarrhea

2007-08-29T12:12:00.001-07:00

Hey! All you runners out there...those that run around lakes, parks, the hills, the neighborhood, wherever. Have you stopped to think about what your dog is going through as he runs along side you in the 95+ degree heat? AND your dog is all black??? AND his tongue is literally dragging the ground??? You assholes...all of you. You get a dog to run with thinking that you'll pick up some really cute bitch/ho/player and you have no intention of looking out for the welfare of your dog. Care for your dog by leaving him at home, or by cutting your fucking run short. Signs your dog is tired of the running/you shouldn't take your dog with you:

1. He's lagging behind you.
2. He's black and the sun is beating down on both of you.
3. His tongue is hanging out...not just in a regular pant, but in a fuckyouimgonnadieifyoudontstop pant.
4. He's a snackdog...you know, the ones my dog eats for a snack. The little puffballs are NOT made for running 5 miles...in the heat.
5. He stops to poop...and poops diarrhea. (This is a big one folks...what would you feel like if you were running with diarrhea?????)

I'm sure there are more, but I'm so angry about this I can't think straight. Those of us who really love our dogs know the limits and do what it takes to take care of our loved ones. Please do the same...it's never pleasant to come up on a pile of dog diarrhea that has been steaming in the 95+ heat.

BACON!!! The demise of my waistline...and heart health

2007-08-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

Sue Doe expressed concern over my gastric health when she read in my last post that I can eat a pound of bacon after running. Indeed...I can...without throwing up. Love the stuff. It's probably one of the worst foods for you, and I'm not a really big pork fan. However, here in the southwest, bacon is a national pasttime for us and can be included in every single meal throughout the day. Not only can I eat it after running, but I can eat an entire package whenever...I have no shame nor do I have any self-control.

My stabyouinthebackmeanperson neighbor and I were walking one day last year and the smell of bacon cooking was wafting throughout the neighborhood. Scoffed she did at the fact that some folks still actually cook bacon in a frying pan rather than use the microwave stuff. I didn't have the heart, or guts depending on how you look at it, to tell her that I not only fry it up but am pretty anal about frying it up in my big ol' cast iron skillet. Did y'all know that you are not supposed to wash a cast iron skillet? Nope, no sirree...only pour kosher salt on it after it cools and scrub it with the salt and a paper towel. Now, doesn't that wet your appetite???

I've been tagged...

2007-08-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

Sue Doe tagged me (see her blog...it's damn funny http://www.suedoenim.blogspot.com/ ), so here we go. Eight things you don't know...

1. I haven't voted in 10 years...It's kinda like the Southpark episode where you have to choose between a douche bag and a turd sandwich. I know...I know...it is truly unAmerican.

2. I have little tolerance for those who have little tolerance of others.

3. I can change the oil in my own car. I don't need a "Wednesday is Ladies Day" at the local Jiffy Lube.

4. I cry when I think of the disappearing, starving polar bears.

5. I love animals more than most people.

6. I run in the mornings...up and down hills...and then gorge on eggs and a pound of bacon.

7. I spend my money on others...I experience significant guilt if I spend it on myself.

8. I am proudest of being a mom...this is my greatest accomplishment in life.

Life in general...and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks

2007-08-27T07:12:00.000-07:00

The tenants in house #3 are PISSED OFF at Mr. Landlord and I for the grief we have caused them. So...now I'm feeling a little guilty. It's like weighing the good and the bad...they lied to us about several things and didn't follow the lease contract, yet they probably truely cannot afford to live where they are living. AND...they have a 6-year-old son. Mr. Attorney says if you follow the lease to the "T", you will always come out ahead and never be questioned in court. I believe this wholeheartedly. I feel bad for them, but at the end of the day it is OUR investment and I can't be responsible for their misfortunes.

On a brighter note, my favorite sister-in-law came to visit this past weekend. We had a great time. She is hilarious and a true pleasure for a houseguest. I always dread having houseguests because after they leave, my home looks like a tornado came through. Truely...people seem to forget how to pick up after themselves when they visit. I have magazines and newspapers everywhere, and I can't tell you how many times I will have cleaned the kitchen. I used to cook every meal when folks were visiting, but I quickly found out that my inlaws are VERY PICKY EATERS. I am a good cook...just plain and simple...a good cook. Really...but damn they are FREAKS when it comes to eating. So, I decided to forgo cooking and let everyone forage for themselves. Saves me time and money in wasted groceries. One time, two of my sisters-in-law were visiting and I cooked grilled chicken breast topped with spinach and pinenut pesto. One of them insisted that the pesto looked like ground up frog in a blender and refused to eat it. She's 48 years old...Another time I fixed sauteed salmon with a creamy dill and cucumber topping. The other sister-in-law ate one bite of the salmon and then turned it over, scraped all the grey part off the bottom, turned it over, took another bite, and then said she was full. Holy fuck...it's $45 salmon people!!!!!!! It's the best you can get here...it's dark and rich and flavorful. What the hell is wrong with you?????

However, my sister-in-law that just visited is game for anything...she even tried Thai food for the first time while she was here. What a trooper. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but believe, to my inlaw clan it is freakin' amazing. Then we spent about an hour and a half after the little dude went to bed laughing at Chuck Norris jokes. Pretty damn funny...here's the link...enjoy.

http://www.duckshit.com/chuck-norris-jokes/

man put toddler in hot dryer

2007-08-23T18:35:00.001-07:00

What a fucker...how dare he put a small child in a hot dryer. These types of stories make me literally sick to my stomach. I never feel pain so deep until I read such stories. I feel the physical and mental pain of these poor children that are abused. I didn't even read the story...just the headline...that was enough to make me sink into bed for an hour and have a hard cry. Not for my pain, but for that of the child. I've seen and treated children who have been abused. There are no words to describe this. I was told early in my training that children are resilient. And...some of them are. It's amazing how children really do accomodate and assimilate what is dished out to them. However, they never forget. The abuse that is done is "hardwired" into their brains...not necessarily in visual images, but in the biochemistry that makes up their brains. The chemicals that help structure their brains early in life are impacted by such things as anxiety, fear, depression, worry, etc. etc...these emotional states are the result of chemical reactions in the brain. These chemical reactions influence the evolving and developing brain. A brain awash in anxiety and fear can be different (key word: can) from the brain awash in joy and laughter. Go figure, right? So, word to the wise...the children may "forget" but their brains do not. You WILL damage your child with abuse...those of you who do abuse, you know exactly what I'm talking about...You just don't have the balls to see it and face it.

Amen!

2007-08-23T18:31:00.001-07:00

The tenants in house #3 called today...they are mailing all of the monies due today, as well as a postdated check for the September rent. Hmmmm...I say...seems they always had the money in the first place if they could come up with it before the end of the month. Thanks for the validation that my getmyattorneyonyourass approach worked, and for the validation that, indeed, you had been lying to me when you asked me to hold your checks for two weeks because you didn't have the money.

Please don't evict me!!!

2007-08-20T13:43:00.000-07:00

So, the tenants in house #3 get the letter from the attorney indicating their 6 lease violations and how to remedy them or else get evicted. Ms. Tenant calls the attorney crying and pleading for more time. Hmmmm....let's see. She's already 20 days past due on the deposit, owes a returned check fee, and owes additional monies. She has until the end of the month to pay up, which I think is pretty damn generous. This is all really irritating. You see, Mr. Landlord and I provide really nice places to live, AND we ensure that any and all repairs are completed by the best workman we have. This not only protects the tenant, but it protects our investment. And this is key...it is an investment for us. Not a half-way house, not a stop-and-squat house, not a onceIgetinIllneverhavetopayanotherdime house. We hold up our end of the lease and we expect our tenants to do the same. Not my problem that you can't manage your life well enough to ensure you and your family have a roof over your head. You should have never signed the lease if you couldn't afford it!

House #1 is up for lease. This is absolutely our nicest house. In fact, we lived there before we moved into our current house. It is in a really nice neighborhood, has all new flooring throughout, new appliances, a washer and dryer, access to the community pool/tennis courts/playground, and new paint on the exterior and interior. The previous tenants did a fantastic job of keeping up the house. So much so, they received their ENTIRE deposit back. Mr. Landlord showed the house this past weekend to a family who seemed very interested. They took the application and said they would fax it in today. Well, I received a voice mail from the husband saying he and his wife had a few questions, and could we please email them. He also said that his wife wanted to know if we were going to repaint the inside of the house, and that if we didn't use email (hello? this statement baffles me....) that he would call back and we could "have a good conversation about the house." Oh fuck me...kiss my ass. The interior has paint that is 10 months old and looks, literally, brand new. It is in very nice, warm colors and we spent a few thousand for the paint job. Fuck off, asshole...it's a rent house...if your wife can't live with the paint then she probably can't live there period...You will likely piss me off some time during your lease and then I'll be the relentless landlord who becomes your biggest, most painful hemorrhoid.

Neighbors

2007-08-16T08:13:00.001-07:00

I can see the homes across the cul-de-sac from the window in our water closet (yes, we have shutters to close so the entire neighborhood does not see us "do our business"). One of the homes has new occupants from a southern state. I have watched their progress in moving in over the last week, especially at night when Mom Nature calls. These folks are up at all hours of the night moving stuff and getting settled. I have yet to introduce myself, though have every intention of doing so when I get a free moment. It's important in this day and time to really, REALLY know your neighbors, whether you like them or not.

When we moved into our home, I was 5 months pregnant. Our home is situated on a small cul-de-sac with only three homes on it. So, it's really not like a cul-de-sac, but more like a huge circular drive. Both my neighbors came over to introduce themselves, and I'm thankful they did. Though no real friendships developed, I know enough about them and their children to keep an eye out for odd goings on and determine if anyone needs help. I also know enough to determine that there is a feud going on between the two households, and I certainly don't want to get in the middle of that. After these folks came to introduce themselves, we did not see hide nor hair of anyone else until my baby was 6 months old, at which time one of the mother's in the neighborhood walked over to invite my and my child to playgroup each week. We attended playgroup a few times, but found that most of the children were significantly older than my child. I also found that I just didn't really connect on a personal level with some of the moms. This was the beginning of my education about our neighbors. I found there is an air of entitlement to some of these moms, and that to sit around and bitch about your husband is the norm. I also found that there was much talk about whose house sold for what and whether the new neighbors would be worth getting to know. Ever present is the flash of new cars, big houses, interior decorating, the right clothes, hair salon, and makeup...but none of this is real. Not only is it bought on loan from the bank, but it also doesn't allow the true person to shine through.

I soon figured out our neighborhood was divided into three groups: those who keep to themselves, those who have been here since the neighborhood was developed (the old neighbors), and those that have recently moved in (the new neighbors). The old neighbors have this thing about keeping a tightly knit circle, and not really letting the "newbies" into the circle unless you pass certain criteria. We automatically have strikes against because we are psychologists, and NO ONE feels comfortable around psychologists. We are frequently asked if we are analyzing someone, to which we typically reply "no, not unless you're paying our hourly fee and sitting in our office." This throws people off and they seem to get offended. But seriously, it's like asking a gynecologist at a party to diagnose symptoms of an STD. So, we are shunned for that. The second strike we have is that Mr. Landlord has a collection of guns and bows and arrows he hunts with. Yes, they are kept in a rather large gun safe in the garage, but it is apparently attractive to the neighborhood boys. The boys next door found out what was in that safe and you could see their eyes literally light up. Their mother was horrified, and said so when I knocked on her door to explain all guns and the like were kept safely locked up and her boys would never have the pleasure of looking at them. Of couse, several weeks later I see her 13-year-old son going off into the greenbelt with a BB gun. Yet, we are shunned because my husband likes to hunt and maintains the appropriate mechanisms to engage in this hobby. Oh, and did I mention we live in a state where hunting is a HUGE activity???? We obviously have not figured out what the criteria is to be "allowed" into the clicque, however I am not sure I want to figure this out. Our exclusion tells us enough about the old neighbors. I have finally figured out I don't need any more external validation for my perception. Quite frankly, if often feels like I've never left high school...at what point do people actually grow up?

Now, having said all of this...I typically introduce myself to new neighbors and aprise them of the great things our neighborhood has to offer. We offer several yearly events including wine tastings, beer tastings and chili cookoffs, July 4th and Halloween parades, etc. etc. I also coordinate help for those neighbors who need the help. For example, of someone has surgery or has a new baby, I coordinate a group of people to take turns cooking for the family, making sure the kids get to and from school/activities, or just doing the family shopping. Many folks in our neighborhood do not have family nearby, and it is incredibly difficult here to find a nanny or babysitter that is worth their weight in gold. So, to have neighbors to help fill in when the time comes is so important.

I can only hope that my actions in our neighborhood help those who refuse to open their homes and hearts to new neighbors see that they are missing out on enriching and fulfilling experiences, and the chance to make some really great friends. So, I will continue to watch the neighborhood from my water closet window and learn everyday about human nature and the importance of good neighbors.

Holy Crap...

2007-08-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

what an idiot...there are no other words

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20051402,00.html

What? You can't pay your rent????

2007-08-13T11:36:00.001-07:00

Well, the tenants in house #3 wrote a hot check for their third deposit payment. Because coming up with the first month's rent and a deposit at the same time can be a bit daunting, Mr. Landlord and I let folks pay out their deposit. When I phoned the tenants to say their check bounced, they let me know the fridge was out and that their two twenty-something daughters had moved into the house to "stay for just a few months because their landlord sold the house they were living in right from under them without telling them...they have no where to go, so we said they could stay here until they get back on their feet." Hmmmm.....page 7, section F, subsection 2...no visitors longer than 7 days without written permission from the landlord.
AND, they could not cover their hot check until the 22nd of the month. Hmmmm....page 2, section A....nonpayment can result in eviction.

So, this house is about 1500 sq. ft. and now has four adults and one 6-year-old boy living in it. Let me start by saying that it is illegal where we live to sell a house without giving the current tenants at least 30 days notice, so they are...what is it called???? Ummm....hmmmm....LYING??? Goodness gracious folks...come up with something more original than that. Essentially, these girls were given proper notice by their landlord that the house was up for sale. I am sure the landlord showed the house to potential buyers. So, Mr. Landlord and I are being asked to accomodate someone's ineptness at taking care of their own business and themselves. Folks, had I wanted to be accomodating to these issues, I would have entered a contractual agreement to be someone's PARENT not their landlord. However, given that I did not give birth to these girls, I don't feel a need to accomodate their stupidity.

Now the issue of the money...or lack thereof. Ms. Tenant pleaded and begged to be allowed to stay in the house, saying if we could just give them one more month to get their lives straight, we would not be sorry. As Sue Do says, Holy Crap-dee-doodle. Ms. Tenant also said that she made one of the girls get rid of her precious dog, because Ms. Tenant respected me as the owner and the contracted lease we all signed. Yep...that's right...went over to the house and knocked on the door. Oh my goodness, what on earth did I hear when I knocked on the door??? Yip, yip, yap, yap....what? Could that be the bark of a dog??? So, now we are on violation three of the lease contract.

You guessed it...emailed Mr. Attorney who agreed to send Mr. and Ms. Tenant a letter advising them to get the girls out, pay their debts, get rid of the dog, or risk eviction. Mr. Landlord does not agree with this approach and says to evict them. However, given there is a 6-year-old boy involved, I am willing to stick out for another 30 days...knowing full well that we will be evicting them in September.

Can someone please tell me why people get themselves in such a state of affairs? I mean really...I told Mr. Landlord two weeks ago that these folks could not afford to live in the house and sure enough...they can't. Why oh why do people think they can just pull money out of their asses to pay their bills? Why do they underestimate the legality of the lease contract that they signed??? Please inform me and educate me...

The first official post

2007-08-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is. With the encouragement of others I am opening a blog to relieve the tension and stress associated with being a landlord, psychologist, and full-time mom. Hopefully some of you will find these postings amusing and sometimes even thought provoking. However, I must warn all of you tenants out there....I will, without a shadow of a doubt, piss you off at some time or another. Tenants have given me much fodder for a blog and I am sure you will continue to do this.

I welcome the comments...I am sure I will find some of you amusing and insightful. If you are a tenant, comment away! But remember, I've heard it all before. I am beginning to become quite the ass of landlords....I am forever indebted to my real estate attorney for helping me develop this asshole characteristic, and I think some of you have paid his bills!